And obviously you can't either or you wouldn't be here.
So when I looked back at my posts for the last couple of weeks and noticed that they have been somewhat review-heavy I decided this week to revert to grab-bag mode and just bring to your attention a few things which have caught my eye recently and the knowledge of which will increase your IQ, shrink your waistline and bring you lasting happiness. Or not. You be the judge.

First up: Last month soprano Anna Netrebko was given the title of National Artist by Russian thug leader Vladimir Putin. Less than one month later she appeared in the March "The Sex and Music" issue of Playboy. I'm not kidding. There are no racy pictures, so as usual you guys out there are going to have to buy Playboy for the articles. Question: Which of these honors do you suppose she enjoyed the more?

The Cornish Opera last week continued to cause problems at the Met. This time it was Deborah Voigt who had to cancel because of illness on Tuesday. Finally, on Friday night La V and Mr. Heppner actually performed together. The Met streamed the entire performance through their website. I listened to the whole thing and if you check back here on Wednesday afternoon I'll have posted something about the experience. It was quite an evening.

It would seem that both Ben Heppner and Deborah Voigt are ready willing and able to perform their respective roles in the Cornish Opera tonight and "to celebrate" the occasion, as the Met put it - although what they really wanted to say was "We're so happy and relieved we barely know what to do with ourselves!" - they are streaming the event live over the Internet today, Friday 28th March, at 4pm PST. This is the last performance of this production so it's now or never. Although you won't be able to watch the performance as you would have at the movie last Saturday, you will at least have the opportunity to listen to what may prove to be a most memorable performance.

Here's the link.

From what has been going on at The Met this last few days, the answer to that question should be "I dunno. How many have you got handy?" The performance on Saturday featured no less than the fourth singer in that role in as many performances. Between throat viruses (Ben Heppner) tummy troubles (Deborah Voigt) and scenery failure (Gary Lehman doing a Ricky Henderson head-first into the prompt box) this present production has been so star-crossed I suspect that singers are going to stop calling the piece by the name Wagner gave it and, in the manner of Macbeth's soubriquet, begin referring to it as 'The Cornish Opera'. I would not be telling the whole truth were I not to admit that when I attended the HD simulcast at the Regal Cinema on Saturday morning it was with a degree of Schadenfreude, wondering whether we were to be treated to some disaster in full living colour on the big screen. It was not to be. I have never seen this opera before but as far as I could tell everything went off as well as could possibly have been hoped for and especially so given that Ms. Voigt had apparently no rehearsal time whatever with Robert Dean Smith who had flown in from Berlin to help out the Met in a pretty major way.

I hear those voices that will not be drowned.
Peter Grimes

This last week was both thrilling and very emotional for me. Thrilling because I was lucky enough to attend not one but two Britten operas - Albert Herring in the flesh and Peter Grimes in Met simulcast mode - and emotional because in different ways both of these productions brought to the surface so much of what I remember and feel about my youth and growing up in East Anglia.

10 Greatest Things About the Portland Opera To Go Tour

Best Clam Chowder
Ship Inn Restaurant & Family Pub – Astoria, OR

Best Hotel
La Quinta - Ashland, OR

Best Destructive Moment
TIE:  Backing the Opera van into a parked car & knocking over a flat screen computer monitor during a scene change.  We won’t mention the locations.  (Both courtesy of Sarah Kim)

Best Audience
Canyonville Christian Academy - Canyonville, OR

Best Beach
Newport Beach, OR

Best Question from a 4th grader
“Can I have your number?”  (to Sarah Kim)

Best Free Gift
T-Shirts from Riley Creek Elementary School – Gold Beach, OR

Best Marionberry Scone
Gold Beach Books – Gold Beach, OR
www.oregoncoastbooks.com

Best Opera Improv Story
“Fractured Fairy Tale”  
The Big Bad Wolf is captured and put on trial by one of the three little pigs, cross-examined by prosecuting attorney Cinderella, and discovers the judge is none other than Little Red Riding Hood in disguise.

Best Coffee Shop
Great Pacific, Pendleton, OR
www.greatpacific.biz

“There is only one opera when you have to get naked, as far as I know: Salome. I want to do Salome, but it may be the last day of my career. It’s very big.” Er, so is she saying she wants to go the whole way? “Exactly! I want to get naked on the stage!”
Anna Netrebko

During our travels we get to sample some of the local restaurants and coffee shops and what have you. This last Friday I think we found the best smoothie and Java shake cafe in the state. It's called Oregon Sunshine Espresso and they specialize in blended drinks using Umpqua Valley milk products. They also have a nice selection of wines and very helpful staff.

So, if you're ever in Canyonville, Oregon, maybe visiting 7 Feathers casino or just driving through to Grants Pass and need to make a stop, Oregon Sunshine is located on Main Street, North of downtown and South of the casino. The address is 340 N Main street. Check it out!

Cafe review by Sara Busch

As an antidote to my recent over-indulgence in stuff-which-is-good-for-me (see last week's entry), I went to two movies this week. I saw Michael Clayton, in which there were some sterling performances and which I really enjoyed - even though there were bits of it I still don't understand. Then, Before The Devil Knows You're Dead, which I am sure was very good but was unremittingly dark and that Philip Seymour Hoffmann is just creepy. And today I shall see No Country For Old Men. That about equals my movie total for the whole of the last year (Met simulcasts excepted). The title of the latter comes from this; just so's you know. Also last week I had a delicious lunch at Jake's with Metropolitan Opera diva extraordinaire Brenda Harris. I am thinking to do a proper interview with her for your enjoyment and edification so watch this space. But now, to business....