Act I  

Scene 1, Country Club Bar 

At the bar amidst the remnants of a meal, Sir John Falstaff, currently devoid of funds, seals the second of two envelopes and leans back satisfied. His reverie is interrupted by Dr. Caius, who is loudly complaining about the damage done to his household and reputation during a drunken party with Falstaff and his cronies, Bardolfo and Pistola. Pistola claims that Caius, who had been drinking with them, must have dreamed it all after passing out, and Falstaff sends Dr. Caius packing. Bemoaning his current poverty, Falstaff tells Bardolfo and Pistola his plan for fattening his coffers by seducing the two very pretty, very married ladies, Alice Ford and Meg Page, and asks them to deliver each woman a love letter that he has written. Bardolfo and Pistola protest that their honor could not possibly allow them to comply with his request. Outraged at their hypocrisy, Falstaff sends a pageboy on his errand and berates his hapless henchmen, reminding them that Honor will not feed them. 

Scene 2, Country Club Pool 

Poolside, Alice, her daughter Nanetta and her friends Meg Page and Dame Quickly meet to share the latest gossip. Alice reveals that the old rascal John Falstaff has sent her a letter. Meg replies that she too has received a letter from him. Comparing notes, they find that have received identical love letters praising their beauty and suggesting a tryst. By turns scandalized and amused, the women vow to exact their revenge by playing a trick on the knight.   

Meanwhile, Dr. Caius and Mr. Ford are chatting. Bardolfo and Pistola come rushing in to tell Mr. Ford of Falstaff’s plan to seduce Alice and Meg. Outraged, Ford plots his revenge with the others. Fenton, taking advantage of Mr. Ford’s distraction, seeks out Nanetta, with whom he is deeply in love, despite her father’s disapproval.   

The four women finish formulating their plan. Dame Quickly will go to Falstaff and arrange assignations with both Alice and Meg for the next day where their plan will unfold. Laughing, they take their leave of each other. 

Act II 

Scene 1, Country Club Bar 

Bardolfo and Pistola have returned to Falstaff to beg forgiveness. Dame Quickly arrives as planned, telling Falstaff that Alice Ford will be anxiously awaiting Falstaff’s arrival between two and three that afternoon—her husband will be away, and she will be free to entertain him. Dame Quickly then reveals that Meg, unfortunately, cannot fulfill her desires for an assignation—her husband never lets her alone. Dame Quickly takes her leave. As Falstaff is congratulating himself on still being quite the lothario, Ford arrives disguised as Fontana, requesting Falstaff’s aid in seducing the delicious Mrs. Ford. Ford/Fontana explains that he hopes if Falstaff can seduce Alice, the knight will pave the way for his own suit. Ford/Fontana slips Falstaff a large wad of cash. Chortling, Falstaff tells him that his hopes are halfway to fruition—Falstaff has an assignation with Alice that very day! Falstaff leaves Ford to prepare for his date with Alice, and Ford fumes at his wife’s apparent infidelity. Ford contains himself and leaves with Falstaff to enact the plan.   

Scene 2, Poolside at the Country Club 

In a more secluded area of the pool, the ladies prepare for Falstaff’s arrival. Alice assures her daughter Nanetta that she won’t have to marry Dr. Caius, her father’s choice. Alice will make sure that her daughter is happily wed to Fenton. Meg, Dame Quickly, and Nanetta depart, each to play her part in the practical joke on Falstaff. Falstaff arrives on cue, and immediately begins his seduction of Alice, only to be interrupted (as planned) by Dame Quickly, who warns that Meg is on her way. Alarmed, Falstaff hides. Meg enters (as planned) to tell Alice that an enraged Ford is on his way, closely followed by Dame Quickly (not as planned) in a panic to announce that Ford really is incensed, and on his way with half the club membership following close behind. Before the women can respond, Ford bursts in, and he and his companions begin to search for Falstaff. In the confusion, the women bundle Falstaff into a basket filled with dirty pool towels. When Ford leaves to search elsewhere, Alice has the staff push the laundry, Falstaff and all, into the pool. When Ford returns, confounded, Alice points out Falstaff floundering in the pool amongst the towels. 

Act III 

Scene 1, Country Club Sauna 

Humiliated, Falstaff sits in the sauna seeking consolation. Dame Quickly enters and manages to convince him that Alice meant no harm and tells him that Alice has planned a tryst with him this very night at midnight. Falstaff should come costumed as Herne the Hunter. As the two continue to discuss their plans, the rest of the conspirators—including Ford—solidify the details of the prank. Everyone will be in costume as various fairies and sprites, while Nanetta will play the Faerie Queen. Surreptitiously, Ford takes Dr. Caius aside to ensure that he will be able to recognize Caius in costume so that he may give Caius and Nanetta his blessing and announce their engagement. Dame Quickly sees the two conspirators, however, and understands what they are plotting. She returns to the other women to finish planning. 

Scene 2, Country Club Ballroom and Garden 

Dressed for a masquerade ball, all the conspirators await the arrival of Falstaff. While they wait, Fenton sings a love song to Nanetta. Falstaff arrives as requested in full costume and resumes his interrupted seduction of Alice, only to be startled by the arrival of the club members dressed as forest spirits determined to thrash Falstaff. Eventually, as he is pinched, poked, and laughed at, Falstaff recognizes Bardolfo as one of his tormentors and the jig is up. All is revealed in laughter, and Falstaff joins in ruefully. Ford then calls forth a masked couple (whom he assumes are Dr. Caius and Nanetta) so that he can bless their betrothal. As the couple steps forward, Alice presents a second masked couple who wish to wed. Grandly, Ford blesses all four. When the two couples unmask, they discover that Ford has married Nanetta to Fenton and Dr. Caius to Bardolfo. Falstaff guffaws and everyone joins in singing that he who laughs last, laughs best. 

Synopsis written by Alexis Hamilton.